Charles Spurgeon once talked about a pastor having two legs: a preaching/study leg and a prayer leg. He said that preachers needed to be balanced or else they’d walk funny. And I suppose you could also say that if one of those legs is incredibly short, you’ll end up spinning in circles.
My prayer leg is much shorter than my preaching leg. In other words, I probably shouldn’t be the one writing this article.
Now that most of you have left, for those of you remaining can we be honest with each other? There is something about the concept of prayer that seems a little, I don’t know…boring? That doesn’t sound right to say. Uncomfortable? Unappealing? None of these words are helping my case.
We know that we ought to be men of prayer. We know that God is the one who makes things happen, that we’re dependent upon Him, and that prayer is vital part of our relationship. But we still struggle. In order to help with this, some well-meaning people have attempted to give us a nice simple definition of prayer: “talking to God.”
Maybe that’s part of our problem.
Let’s think about this for a second. Let’s say the wife and kids are out of town for the weekend and I want to invite a friend over. How do I do it? If I’m a dude, I’m probably not going to say, “Hey bro, want to come over so we can talk together?” Even if both of us are hungry for companionship and having a good talk, the reality is that he’ll likely tell me he has to “do some work around the house” and won’t be able to come over. But what if I say, “Hey dude, want to come over and watch the game with me”? He’s all in.
We’ll probably have some conversation in-between pitches – or if it’s an inferior sport we can converse during a time out. The point, though, is that dudes don’t tend to schedule “talk time” on their calendars. And I think that is why “prayer time” is starting from a deficit for many of us. Maybe reframe your thinking on this a little. Compare it more to “7 ways to get the most out of a baseball game” and less “7 ways to muster up the courage to attend your ‘talk time.’”
I don’t want to cast my net too far here. Some guys aren’t nearly as threatened by the idea of talking and they’re probably in a better place with this whole prayer thing. They might be better ones to write this article. But for the time being you’ve only got me. So here are seven things that I’ve found help me with prayer time. I’ll try to make each of them mercifully short.
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1. Set a Time and Place
This is where we can learn something from sports. If I say, “The Royals are playing today,” you’re immediately going to ask, “What time?” An athletic contest has a specific time and place for the event. Unless it’s a rain delay, and then you spend a couple hours watching old episodes of The Andy Griffith Showwhile you wait for the tarp to come off.
Attendance would plummet if they said, “The game will start at some point today, be sure to show up at the ballpark sometime, whenever you get around to it, the game might be going on, it might not be going on. But you know, whatevs.”
You set a time and place when you’re committed to something. It means that it’s going to happen. Prayer is the same way. If we say, “I’m going to devote some time to prayer every morning at 7 AM” we’ll get in a better habit of keeping that appointment — even though we might have the occasional “rain delay.”
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2. Use a Prayer Journal
I probably lost some of you here. I’ve had guys tell me, “Dudes don’t keep journals.” I’m a writer so it’s a little less weird for me, but I hear you. I’ll pretend for a second that I’m weirded out by keeping a journal, just for your sake. And I’ll try to bring out that super macho part of me where I have a workshop and like to go in there and saw things (that is true of me, minus the macho part).
In my shop I do have a few things written down in various places. In fact, I tend to keep a white board in there so that I can write down measurements, think through build plans, and make a list of junk I don’t actually need the next time I go to the hardware store.
Why do I do this? Because I am writing down things that are important. Some of them I might even save because I know I’ll keep coming back to it. Consider keeping something like this. You don’t have to call it a journal. Call it something that makes you feel more manly if that’s your schtick. Keep a captain’s log of all the important things you are thinking about and praying about.
3. Have a Prayer List
I’ve found this to be helpful in keeping me focused. I know another pastor of a pretty large church that has a stack of prayer requests that he goes through daily. He prays maybe 10-20 seconds for each one, just pausing for a moment, thinks about the person, entrusts them to the Lord. It’s a beautiful thing because I’ve been on the receiving end of this prayer ministry. He’ll text me at times and say, “Just prayed for you today.” That’s one of the benefits of keeping a prayer list — it keeps us focused and allows us to do things like tell other people we’ve prayed for them. That can encourage others.
You can use the notes feature on your phone or keep a little notebook with you. I need to do a better job of this one as well. I’m far too confident in my own ability to remember things. I used to be much better at this when my life was a bit simpler. But now I have a million thoughts running through my head. I forget things.
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4. Pray the Psalms or Other Scripture
If you are a reader, an excellent resource on this is Donald Whitney’s Praying The Bible. It helps when we can pray the Scriptures. This is why many people tend to combine prayer time with Bible reading time. Whitney combines these in a unique way though. He simply encourages us to read through a passage of Scripture and use it as a guide to our prayer.
I had Dr. Whitney as a professor in seminary. I started doing this and it really does help to stay focused, and at times some of those Scripture passages will really give voice to the ache we feel in our souls. Let’s be honest, many of us guys struggle with words. The Bible can give you words to pray. Think of it as having a bit of a script for your “talk time.”
5. Pray with Others
About 10 years ago I stumbled upon something kind of amazing. I realized that I wasn’t vey good at praying for my wife. I decided to use my little ol’ blog to create a small community of dudes to pray together for our wives. I would have been jazzed to see 10-15 people sign up. I was shocked when it reached the thousands. I was even more amazed when someone turned these prayer challenges (I did a few others) into an app. Hundreds of thousands of people at one point had downloaded this app. There is a newer version and they are all compiled in one place here.
Praying with others really did help me to pray for my wife. We no longer have the community groups that we created then, but at the time it was beneficial. Many guys were able to share their struggles. And that accountability was vital to keep at this discipline of praying. Find you a prayer buddy — or several thousand, which is what I needed — to keep you accountable.
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6. Use Prayer Apps or Tools
Don’t worry, I’m not going to plug that prayer app again. There are several others out there. Our phones, while they can be a massive hindrance and distraction to our prayer life, can also be a huge asset. You probably get notified a hundred times each day; why not have an app with notifications to remind you to pray? We should use these tools to assist us.
Many of these apps have prayer prompts. They’ll have a place to store that prayer list. They’ll have Scripture to assist you. Many even have model prayers that we can make our own. These can be especially helpful if you are new to the discipline of prayer. Download one today and set the notifications.
7. Learn Breath Prayers
Okay, this is where you’re going to think I’m a little cooky. And if you’re one of those super theological nerds (like myself) you might be a little uncomfortable thinking that this sounds like New Age mumbo jumbo instead of a scriptural practice. I’ll admit that, in my opinion, some people take this a bit far and go in some weird directions.
A breath prayer, though, is really just a prayer that can be said in a single breath. Mike Cosper describes it this way:
“Breath prayers are exactly what they sound like: prayers that can be said in a single breath. To practice this discipline — which has been shared by Christians for many ages — you simply take in a deep, calming breath and, while exhaling, pray quietly or aloud a simple phrase meant to reorient you to God’s presence, his kingdom, and his good will for you. It’s a practice that brings the whole person — heart, mind, and body — back to an awareness of God’s presence.”
I think it’s a way for us to “pray continually.” Remember earlier when I said I was awful at praying? Well, the reality is that I’m probably being hard on myself. I do these breath prayers many times throughout the day. I’ll give you an example.
I’m a pastor. This means that sometimes I have difficult hospital visits. Before entering almost every room I’ll pause, take in a big breath, and simply pray something like, “Help me be your presence to this hurting person.”
Sometimes my breath prayer is as simple as, “Lord Jesus, keep my mouth shut and don’t let me say something stupid.” Or when my kids are being kids and I’m just wanting to rest, “Help me be for them what they need.” You get the picture. This has you praying throughout the day.
Pick a few phrases that you can start with and practice these little breath prayers throughout your day.
Click here to read 3 Ways Women Can Improve Their Prayer Lives
Source
Mike Cosper, Recapturing the Wonder, 31
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Mike Leake is husband to Nikki and father to Isaiah and Hannah. He is also the lead pastor at Calvary of Neosho, MO. Mike is the author of Torn to Heal and Jesus Is All You Need. His writing home is http://mikeleake.net and you can connect with him on Twitter @mikeleake. Mike has a new writing project at Proverbs4Today.
